finding clarity in the midst of finals

With finals on the horizon, including many group projects and client presentations, stress is in the air.

As a way to cope, I tried to shake things up a bit by studying conference talks in the morning and attending to the Temple in the afternoon.

The baptistry was fairly empty tonight, which is quite a rare occasion for anyone familiar with the Provo Temple. I sat down on the last bench next to a teenage girl, who appeared to be reclusive to those around her. I did not mind this because my heart was set on bigger matters. I had felt heavy all day trying to sort through reoccurring nightmares, academic coursework, NY preparation, etc. I came to the Temple hoping to ease my heart.

As a way to cope, I brought with me A Prophet's Voice, Messages From Thomas S. Monson--a compilation of all of President Monson's talks as prophet--in preparation for this weekend.  I highly recommend this book. It has so many wonderful messages.

As we progressed to the confirmation room, I noticed the girl behind me was making interesting hand gestures. I thought maybe she was overly expressive or trying to be reverent. However, as the night progressed it became obvious--she was deaf. She was signing with a man who appeared to be her father. It was one of the most amazing things I have seen. What may appear to be a simple process for me, was much more difficult for her. Yet, her "caretaker" selflessly loved her and helped her understand everything that was going on around her by signing every step of the way.

After watching them for an hour, I felt humbled. After having read a talk, in which President Monson encouraged all the women to study, pray and serve more fervently, I figured out my problem-- I am thinking too much about myself. As I watched this man and teenage girl interact, I felt honored to be in their presence.

Sometimes in the midst of finals, or time-pressing situations, we forget what truly matters. We forget how to serve. We forget how to properly prioritize. We forget to stop, take a moment, and breathe. We are capable of far more than we think we are.

As President Monson said, "My dear sisters (and brethren), do not pray for tasks equal to your abilities, but pray for abilities equal to your tasks. Then the performance of your task will be no miracle, but you will be the miracle."

I wish so badly that I knew sign language in that moment. I would have told her,"Thank you for being an example to us all, for not allowing a physical disability get in the way of what truly matters."


 Note to self: next time I am feeling heavy, love myself enough to forget myself once in awhile.