I haven't been at this for awhile, but it is therapeutic to write and therapy is just what I need right about now...
Well that's a lie, I do write, a lot. In fact that is all my day is consumed of, writing. I am currently writing for The Daily Universe. It is enjoyable. I LOVE IT!!! I am meeting lots of new friends. I am improving my writing skills. Looking cool carrying around my camera (well it is actually my mom's, if anything happened to it she demanded my first born-yup its her baby:) and a voice recorder to conduct interviews. I'm enhancing my resume, gaining experience with a student-run newspaper and slowly learning the ins and outs of the often daunting AP style book.
Who would have thought I would write for a newspaper? I sure didn't.
Therapy.
The thing about therapy is that it can be spontaneous, selfish, time consuming, charitable, loud or quiet. It can be as long as a week getaway or as short as opening the scriptures for five minutes. Therapy does NOT need to comply with others' rules or any sort of AP style book. Therefore, I am leaving the AP behind and writing, just to write.
Not only writing, but writing my thoughts.
One thing I have struggled with as a journalist for the campus newspaper is not only the fact but the rule that I cannot have a voice! Complete objectivity is the goal. As a child I was taught to express my thoughts-->what I wanted, needed and believed! All of that is gone with a quick dash of an editor's red marker. I have had to eliminate my voice this semester, and ask my editors-IT DRIVES ME CRAZY (hence why I chose public relations-so I can be as opinionated as I so desire!-in fact I am paid to be opinionated-so there we have it!)
I am convinced there is nothing better than being paid to be an advocate for a company or cause that I am passionate about!!! When I am passionate about something, I don't hide it. I only want to share it! Like my undying desire to dance with Celine Dion's crew for one of her vegas shows or my obsession with wearing horizontal stripes and a mustard yellow cardigan.
However, the subject I am most passionate about, the thing that not only drives me to be a better person but motivates me to live is the gospel of Jesus Christ.I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I'm proud of it.
I think it is safe to identify something as not only a passion but a firm belief when it is the first thing we look to when something incredible has happened to us and the first source of comfort and strength when we have been rocked to our core. That is how I feel about my relationship with Jesus Christ.
Often, it is during trials when we are reminded of our dependence upon the Lord. Trials are a painful yet efficient way to be reminded of our complete dependence upon Heavenly Father. My favorite scripture of the week is Alma 26:12:
"Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak;therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever."
It is through this humility that we are healed. I feel the way Ammon does in this chapter, gratitude and appreciation for the Lord.
One of my favorite conference talks at this time in my life is "Lessons from Liberty Jail" by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. It is beautiful and I am reminded many times each day of these beautiful words ringing from this talk. Here is a little taste of the power of Elder Holland's words:
"In one way or another, great or small, dramatic or incidental, every one of us is going to spend a little time in Liberty Jail—spiritually speaking. We will face things we do not want to face for reasons that may not be our fault. Indeed, we may face difficult circumstances for reasons that were absolutely right and proper, reasons that came because we were trying to keep the commandments of the Lord. We may face persecution, we may endure heartache and separation from loved ones, we may be hungry and cold and forlorn. Yes, before our lives are over we may all be given a little taste of what the prophets faced often in their lives......Whenever these moments of our extremity come, we must not succumb to the fear that God has abandoned us or that He does not hear our prayers. He does hear us. He does see us. He does love us. When we are in dire circumstances and want to cry, “Where art Thou?” it is imperative that we remember He is right there with us—where He has always been! We must continue to believe, continue to have faith, continue to pray and plead with heaven, even if we feel for a time our prayers are not heard and that God has somehow gone away. He is there. Our prayers are heard. And when we weep He and the angels of heaven weep with us."
In times of heartache or trial, which they come in our lives one way or another, the thing that brings me the most comfort is knowing we do not have to do it alone.
Happiness is a choice. My mother's counsel has led me to make personal goals of things I want to do to be happy.
A few of my goals:
1. Take 15 minutes a day for myself to meditate (Hakuna Matata style)
2. Paint again.
3. Learn how to cook
(because my most often made meals include salad or pasta)
4. Become a better writer (in the process...a lifelong process)
5. Study the Book of Mormon
6. Open my heart
(vulnerability, though it comes at a price, is worth it)
7. Meet a new friend everyday
8. Exercise daily (endorphins, they'll save you)
9. Find joy through the little things in life (i.e. reading a book, going for a walk, enjoying the sunshine, painting nails a wild, vibrant color).
10. Never settle
11.Be a better sister/daughter to the wonderful angels I call family.
12. Find myself.
Because music speaks to my soul. Kelly has been singing my ear off this week because I absolutely LOVE this song. Thank you to my darling sister who told me to listen to this song:
